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Day 165 of 280 · 23 weeks + 4 days

The last day you'll say nothing

Last reviewed · 3 min read · 5 sources · Plain-text version

Twenty-three weeks and four days. Work is coming into it now. Today you pencil two dates, a last working day and a return, both allowed to change.

Size this week
about the size of a large mango
Length this week
around 28.9 cm from head to heel
A Black woman in a loose blazer and t-shirt with a clear bump at an office desk in late afternoon light, pencilling dates into a paper planner, a cardigan on the chair behind her.

Twenty-three weeks and four days. Your bump may already have told some colleagues. Today you decide what you'll tell them yourself, starting with two dates in pencil.

Your baby

One large ripe mango on a plain pale wooden table, soft window light.

Around 28.9cm long from head to heel, about the size of a large mango (NHS). Over the next few weeks you'll feel kicks and see your tummy move (NHS), which makes desk meetings more interesting.

Your body

The NHS page for this week says to tell your employer by 15 weeks before your due date, around week 25, and to ask for a workplace risk assessment (NHS). That timing comes from UK rules; where you work, the rules and the forms may be different, so ask whoever handles leave.

On the work itself, MedlinePlus is reassuring: most pregnant women can keep working, some until delivery (MedlinePlus). A few practical lines from the same page: most women are advised to lift only objects under 20 pounds (9 kilograms); if your job keeps you on your feet, ask for 15 minutes of sitting for every hour of standing; compression stockings may reduce leg swelling; and regular bathroom breaks may lower the risk of a urinary tract infection (MedlinePlus).

Try today

  1. The leave-date pencil

    Time: 15 minutes

    1. In pencil, choose a planned last working day. Pick a week, not a perfect day.

    2. In pencil, choose a planned return date. You'll probably move it; that's what the pencil is for.

    3. Under the dates, write the two or three things at work that would most need handing over.

    4. Write one question for whoever handles leave at your work, and the date you'll ask it.

    Make it work:

    Write "draft" at the top of the page. A plan you're allowed to change is much easier to make.

Watch for

  • Normal

    tired, puffy legs at the end of a day on your feet; compression stockings may help (MedlinePlus).

    Seek care immediately

    for severe swelling, redness or pain in one leg or arm (CDC).

  • Normal

    tingling or numbness in your hands from extra fluid, which usually improves after birth; stretch breaks and a wrist brace can help (MedlinePlus).

    Call your provider

    to check any persistent numbness, tingling or weakness (MedlinePlus).

  • Normal

    a stressful week at work.

    Call your provider

    if stress keeps going; MedlinePlus says to raise persistent stress with them (MedlinePlus).

For you

Two pencil dates aren't a promise to anyone. They're a way to stop the question sitting in the back of your mind every morning. You can tell people the rough shape ("sometime in the spring, back sometime after") long before you know the exact days.

There's no right length of leave, and no right amount of guilt about it, which is none. The handover list is the work's problem to finish, not yours to perfect.

If you're the partner: pencil your own dates too, and put them next to hers. The NHS reminds partners planning leave that they need to tell their own employer (NHS).

Sources

This guide is general education that summarizes published research and guidance from groups like the American Academy of Pediatrics, the CDC, and the WHO. It isn’t medical advice, and every child develops on their own timeline. Your pediatrician knows your child; if something feels wrong, call them. In an emergency, call 911.

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