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Day 180 of 280 · 25 weeks + 5 days

The partner's leave

Last reviewed · 3 min read · 5 sources · Plain-text version

Twenty-five weeks and five days. Today's task belongs to the partner: find out what leave exists, write the dates, and give the employer notice in time.

Size this week
about the size of a courgette
Length this week
around 34.6 cm from head to heel
A man at a home desk in morning light writing dates on a wall calendar, his pregnant wife in a loose t-shirt with a 25-week bump leaning in the doorway with a mug, smiling.

Twenty-five weeks and five days. Most of these notes are written to you, the one who's pregnant. Today's is mostly for the person beside you, because the leave in question is theirs.

Your baby

One green zucchini on a plain pale wooden board, soft window light.

Around 34.6cm long from head to heel, about the size of a courgette (NHS). Your baby is very active, and loud noises can make them jump and kick; the NHS says it shouldn't hurt, but it may startle you (NHS).

Your body

The NHS week 25 page has a line for partners: if they're planning to take paternity leave, they must tell their employer, and in the UK female partners are entitled to paternity leave too (NHS). The same page reminds the pregnant partner to tell their employer by 15 weeks before the due date (NHS). Those are UK rules. Elsewhere, leave and notice periods depend on your country, state and employer, so the first step is finding out what yours are.

One fact to plan around wherever you live: normal labor at term can start anywhere from 3 weeks before to 2 weeks after the due date, which is only an estimate (MedlinePlus). Leave that starts on a fixed date may need some give.

Try today

  1. The partner's leave plan

    Time: 20 minutes, for the partner

    1. Find your employer's policy on parental or paternity leave: the handbook, HR, or a manager you trust. Note how much leave there is, whether it's paid, and how much notice they need.

    2. Write the dates you'd want, starting from the due date, and a plan for if the baby comes up to 3 weeks early or 2 weeks late (MedlinePlus).

    3. Give notice in writing, before the deadline, and keep a copy.

    4. Put the dates in both of your calendars, and talk about who covers which jobs at home in the first weeks.

    Make it work:

    If there's little or no paid leave where you work, still write the plan: holiday days, a lighter week, a relative who can come. Some time off, planned, beats none.

Watch for

  • Normal

    feeling the strain of money and time off.

    Call your provider

    if stress persists; MedlinePlus suggests talking with a partner or friend, keeping your prenatal care, and raising stress that doesn't ease with your provider (MedlinePlus).

  • Normal

    tiredness, which stays on the NHS's list through these weeks (NHS).

    Call your provider right away

    for overwhelming tiredness, which the CDC lists as an urgent warning sign (CDC).

  • Normal

    a week of small, ordinary aches and odd sensations.

    Call your provider

    if you feel like something just isn't right, even if it isn't on any list; the CDC asks you to contact them when something seems wrong, and to tell every provider you see that you're pregnant (CDC).

For you

Money and leave are where pregnancy meets everything else, and they can feel heavier than the physical part. Writing the dates down doesn't solve that, but it turns a fog into a list, and lists can be worked through together. The NHS's advice for this week is to share worries with your partner, friends and family rather than hold them alone (NHS).

If you're the partner: this is yours to do, not hers to chase. Most of the visible work of pregnancy has been in her body for six months. This is a piece you can carry completely. Tell her when it's done.

Sources

This guide is general education that summarizes published research and guidance from groups like the American Academy of Pediatrics, the CDC, and the WHO. It isn’t medical advice, and every child develops on their own timeline. Your pediatrician knows your child; if something feels wrong, call them. In an emergency, call 911.

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