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Day 63 of 280 · 9 weeks

Accept the help

Last reviewed · 2 min read · 4 sources · Plain-text version

Nine weeks. Hormones are at their loudest, and the NHS's advice is two words long: rest, and accept help. Today you write down what help would look like.

Size this week
about the size of a strawberry
Length this week
around 22 mm from head to bottom
A tired woman in a loose sweater lying on a sofa in afternoon light while a friend in the kitchen behind her loads the dishwasher, a notebook on the coffee table.

Nine weeks today, and the start of your third month. This week's NHS advice is unusually short: rest, and accept help. Today is about making the second half of that possible.

Your baby

A single ripe strawberry with its green cap on a plain pale wooden table, soft window light.

Around 22mm from head to bottom, about the size of a strawberry (NHS). The face, hands and feet are forming, and the major organs and bones are developing (NHS). A lot is being built from very little, which is part of why you feel the way you do.

Your body

Pregnancy hormones are rising, which can cause tiredness, nausea, mood swings and the other early symptoms; the NHS says these should ease over the coming weeks, and until then, to rest and accept help (NHS). The tiredness is not in your head: NICHD links it to rising progesterone and increased blood flow (NICHD).

"Accept help" is easy to read and hard to do, mostly because nobody knows what to offer. Today you tell them.

Try today

  1. The accept-help list

    Time: 10 minutes, then one message

    1. Write three jobs you would let someone else do this week: the big shop, the school run, one dinner, the bins.

    2. Beside each, write a name. Not the most capable person, the one most likely to say yes.

    3. Send the first ask today, by text if a call feels like too much. "Rest and accept help" is the NHS's advice for this week, so you are following instructions (NHS).

    4. Cross a job off when it is done, not when it is promised.

    Make it work:

    If no name comes to mind, write the job anyway. A list with gaps is still a list, and you can fill the names later.

Watch for

  • Normal

    tiredness that makes the afternoon feel long; it comes with the rising hormones (NHS).

    Call your provider

    for "overwhelming tiredness"; it is on CDC's list of urgent maternal warning signs (CDC).

  • Normal

    nausea at any time of day (NICHD).

    Call your provider

    if you cannot keep fluids down for more than 8 hours or food for more than 24 hours (CDC).

  • Normal

    mood swings (NHS).

    Call your provider

    as soon as possible if you think you have depression; in a crisis, call or text 988, or call or text the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline, 1-833-TLC-MAMA (CDC).

For you

Accepting help is a skill, and most of us are out of practice. The NHS puts "look after your mental health" on this week's to-do list alongside the folic acid and the vitamin D (NHS). Handing over the bins counts.

If you're the partner: read the list and pick one job without being asked. Then do it before she has to mention it twice. The point of the list is that she stops managing the help as well as the house.

Sources

This guide is general education that summarizes published research and guidance from groups like the American Academy of Pediatrics, the CDC, and the WHO. It isn’t medical advice, and every child develops on their own timeline. Your pediatrician knows your child; if something feels wrong, call them. In an emergency, call 911.

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