Chorevia

Day 93 of 280 · 13 weeks + 2 days

Closeness

Last reviewed · 3 min read · 6 sources · Plain-text version

Desire can go up or down around now, and both are normal. Today you and your partner spend ten minutes saying what each of you wants more of.

Size this week
about the size of a peach
Length this week
around 7.4 cm from head to bottom
A couple sitting close on a balcony at dusk, her in a loose jumper with her feet in his lap, both laughing mid-conversation, city lights soft behind them, the faintest hint of a bump.

Thirteen weeks and two days. Today is a conversation with your partner that's easier to have before anyone feels neglected: what each of you wants more of, in bed or out of it.

Your baby

One ripe peach on a plain pale wooden table, soft window light.

Around now your baby is around 7.4cm long, about the size of a peach (NHS). Some babies suck their thumb in the womb, which helps develop the sucking reflex they'll need to feed (NHS). The ovaries or testes are fully developed inside (NHS).

Your body

More blood in the pelvic area may increase sex drive for some women around now (NHS). For others, morning sickness and sore breasts, both still on this week's list, have the opposite effect (NHS). The NHS's line on safety is short: sex is safe unless a midwife or doctor advises otherwise (NHS). The exception that matters: after any vaginal bleeding, MedlinePlus says to avoid intercourse until a provider says it is safe (MedlinePlus).

Relationships can strain under pregnancy worries; the NHS says so plainly on next week's page (NHS). Today's ten minutes is a small way of getting ahead of that.

Try today

  1. The closeness conversation

    Time: 10 minutes, together

    1. Pick a time that isn't bedtime, and sit somewhere you'd normally talk, not the bedroom.

    2. Each of you finishes two sentences out loud: "I'd like more of…" and "I'd like less of…". Sex counts; so do hugs, sleep, time alone, and being asked how the day went.

    3. Say the sex part plainly. The NHS says it's safe unless a midwife or doctor has told you otherwise (NHS); if there's been bleeding, it waits until a provider says it's fine (MedlinePlus).

    4. Each pick one thing from the other's list to do this week, and say which.

    5. Stop at ten minutes, even if it's going well. You can have it again.

    Make it work:

    "Not tonight" and "not for a while" are both complete answers. So is "yes, actually". None of them needs a reason attached.

Watch for

  • Normal

    a little white, milky discharge; it's on this week's list (NHS).

    Call your provider

    for discharge with a foul odour, a greenish colour, itching, or pain; vaginal infections matter in pregnancy because they may cause preterm labor (MedlinePlus).

  • Normal

    wondering whether sex is allowed; it is, unless you've been told otherwise (NHS).

    Call your provider right away

    for any bleeding, and avoid intercourse until a provider says it is safe (MedlinePlus).

  • Normal

    headaches, still on the list (NHS).

    Call your provider

    for changes in your vision (CDC).

For you

If you're the partner, this part is for you. Her desire may be up, down, or different from week to week; the NHS says the increase happens "for some women", which means not for others (NHS). Yours can change too. Neither of you is doing it wrong, and the thing that damages couples isn't a quiet month, it's the silence about it.

One more plain line: pregnancy doesn't protect against sexually transmitted infections, and the CDC says pregnant women should ask to be tested as part of routine care (CDC). If there's any question on either side, the test is the answer, not the worry.

Sources

This guide is general education that summarizes published research and guidance from groups like the American Academy of Pediatrics, the CDC, and the WHO. It isn’t medical advice, and every child develops on their own timeline. Your pediatrician knows your child; if something feels wrong, call them. In an emergency, call 911.

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