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Day 86 of 280 · 12 weeks + 2 days

Telling work

Last reviewed · 3 min read · 9 sources · Plain-text version

Twelve weeks and two days. Many people tell their employer around now. Today you write the two sentences you'll say to your manager, and pick the date.

Size this week
about the size of a plum
Length this week
5.4 cm from head to bottom
A Black woman in office clothes at a quiet desk by a window, writing two lines on a sticky note beside a closed laptop, late-afternoon light, colleagues blurred in the background.

Twelve weeks and two days. Telling work is a conversation most people rehearse in the shower for a week. Today you write the two sentences down instead, and pick the day.

Your baby

A single dark plum on a plain pale wooden table, soft window light.

Now 5.4cm long from head to bottom, about the size of a plum (NHS). The sex organs have formed, though a scan usually can't reveal the sex until later (NHS); the anatomy ultrasound at 18 to 20 weeks is when it can often be found (NICHD).

Your body

Many people tell their employer after 12 weeks (NHS), usually after the first scan (NHS). In the NHS's account, telling is what unlocks the practical things: you can then ask for a workplace risk assessment and attend antenatal appointments during paid work time (NHS). You don't have to tell for several more weeks if you'd rather wait (NHS).

Most pregnant women can keep working, some right up until delivery (MedlinePlus). The adjustments worth asking for are specific: most women are advised to lift only objects under 20 pounds (9 kilograms); if you stand for long stretches, ask for 15 minutes of sitting for every hour of standing; routine bathroom breaks may lower the risk of a urine infection (MedlinePlus). Some jobs need a specific conversation: giving hair treatments, and work with lead exposure such as smelting, battery and glass making, printing, ceramics and pottery glazing (MedlinePlus).

Try today

  1. The work-announcement draft

    Time: 10 minutes

    1. Sentence one is the fact and the date: "I'm pregnant, and I'm due around [date]."

    2. Sentence two is the one ask. Time for appointments, or an adjustment: lifting under 20 pounds, sitting breaks on a standing job (MedlinePlus).

    3. Pick the day and the setting, and put it in your calendar as an appointment with yourself.

    4. Decide who at work hears it from you before that day, and who doesn't.

    Make it work:

    Two sentences is the whole script. Anything else your manager needs, they can ask, and you can answer "I'll find out."

Watch for

  • Normal

    feeling hot in a stuffy office; higher blood volume can cause heat and sweating (NHS).

    Call 911

    for severe chest pain or shortness of breath that does not go away (MedlinePlus).

  • Normal

    puffy feet after a long day; swollen hands and feet are on the NHS's list of common signs from next week (NHS).

    Call your provider

    for extreme swelling of your hands or face (CDC).

  • Normal

    stress about the conversation; MedlinePlus's advice for work stress is to talk with a partner or friend, keep up prenatal care, eat well, stay active and sleep enough (MedlinePlus).

    Call your provider

    if the stress persists (MedlinePlus).

  • Normal

    three months of notes and a list of warning signs you've mostly never had.

    Call your provider

    if you feel like something just isn't right, even if it isn't on the list, and tell every provider you see that you're pregnant (CDC).

For you

Leave and pay are yours to research, and the rules depend on where you live and who you work for. Find out what you're entitled to before the conversation, not after, so the second sentence can be a request rather than a question. One thing is the same everywhere: the appointments on your map are medical care, and the NHS treats attending them as part of the deal once work knows (NHS).

If you're the partner: you have a work conversation of your own. The NHS's note is that partners planning paternity leave must tell their employer (NHS); whatever your leave is called, write your two sentences today too.

Sources

This guide is general education that summarizes published research and guidance from groups like the American Academy of Pediatrics, the CDC, and the WHO. It isn’t medical advice, and every child develops on their own timeline. Your pediatrician knows your child; if something feels wrong, call them. In an emergency, call 911.

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