Chorevia

Day 15 of 60 · Week 3

Crying

Last reviewed · 3 min read · 13 sources · Plain-text version

How much newborns really cry, what the evidence says about soothing, and the plan for the moment you've had enough. None of it is your failure.

A father paces a dim hallway at night with a crying newborn upright against his chest, one hand cupping the head, lamplight spilling from a half-open door.

Some evening this week, your baby will cry and nothing will work. Today's note is for that evening, read in advance, while it's quiet.

Heart

Crying is your baby's main way to communicate. The AAP is clear: you cannot spoil a young baby with attention, and babies whose calls for help are answered cry less overall (AAP).

Some crying "resists soothing," the R in PURPLE, no matter what you try (Seattle Children's). That isn't your failure. It's a newborn.

Head

The AAP notes that newborns routinely cry 1 to 4 hours a day (AAP). Across 28 diary studies, fussing and crying averaged about 2 hours a day for the first 6 weeks, then fell to about 1 hour a day by 10 to 12 weeks (Wolke et al., 2017).

The famous "6-week peak" is shakier than its reputation. Brazelton's 1962 diaries from 80 mothers described crying that peaked at about 2.75 hours a day at 6 weeks (Brazelton, 1962, as described by Vermillet et al., 2022). A 2017 meta-analysis of 8,690 infants found no universal 6-week peak, just a steady 2 hours or so a day for 6 weeks, then a drop (Wolke et al., 2017). Either way, this is the heavy stretch, and it ends.

Body

Evidence on specific soothing methods is thin, but not nothing. In a 1990 trial of 40 newborns, 80% fell asleep within 5 minutes with white noise, versus 25% without (Spencer et al., 1990). In 230 babies getting shots, the "5 S's" (swaddling, side or stomach position, shushing, swinging, sucking) lowered pain scores and crying (Harrington et al., 2012). Side and stomach positions are only for a baby you're holding, never for sleep.

Try today

  1. In a dim hallway at night the father sways side to side with his fifteen-day-old upright on his chest, lips close to the baby's ear mid-shush, one hand cupping the head, lamplight from a doorway.

    A soothing round

    Time: 10 to 15 minutes, then reassess · Respond to crying in the guide

    1. Check the basics: diaper, hunger cues like lip smacking and rooting (AAP), temperature.

    2. Hold your baby upright against your chest and walk; rocking and walking are on the AAP's soothing list (AAP).

    3. Add a steady "shhh" near their ear, or sway side to side.

    4. Offer a feed even if it seems soon; crying is a late hunger sign (AAP).

    5. If nothing works, hand your baby to someone else, or follow the plan below.

    Make it work:

    Keep your voice lower than the crying. You're not trying to win; you're keeping them company.

Watch for

  • Normal

    1 to 4 hours of crying a day.

    Call your pediatrician right away

    if your baby cries and can't be comforted in a way that's new or worries you (Nationwide Children's).

  • Normal

    sleeping hard after a long cry.

    Call 911

    if your baby can't be woken enough to feed, or has blue or gray lips (Nationwide Children's).

  • Normal

    spit-up that flows out easily with a burp.

    Call your pediatrician right away

    if spit-up turns forceful or projectile or has blood in it (AAP).

For you

At night in the lamplit hallway the mother hands the crying newborn into the father's arms, her face spent, his hand already cupping the baby's head, no words passing between them.

It is not your failure. In two randomized trials, the Period of PURPLE Crying program improved parents' knowledge of normal crying and some protective behaviors, like walking away when frustrated (Barr et al., Pediatrics, 2009; Barr et al., CMAJ, 2009). Shaking often happens in response to crying (Barr et al., CMAJ, 2009), and it is never safe to shake, throw, hit, slam, or jerk a child (AAP).

If you feel yourself losing control: lay your baby on their back in the crib, leave the room for 10 to 15 minutes, and call someone. Pick them up again once you're calm (AAP). The script: "My baby is safe in the crib. I can take a break."

If you're the partner: when she says the word, take the baby, no questions. Then make the same plan for yourself.

Sources

This guide is general education that summarizes published research and guidance from groups like the American Academy of Pediatrics, the CDC, and the WHO. It isn’t medical advice, and every child develops on their own timeline. Your pediatrician knows your child; if something feels wrong, call them. In an emergency, call 911.

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