Separation anxiety, early

By 9 months, most babies react when you leave, by looking, reaching for you, or crying (CDC). Separation anxiety usually gets stronger around 9 months (Swanson, AAP) and peaks between 10 and 18 months; the AAP calls it a sign of attachment, not of spoiling (AAP). At thirty-one weeks, some babies already cry at the kitchen doorway and many don't yet. Either is on time. Your baby now knows you exist when you're gone but has little sense of time, so they don't know when you'll be back (AAP); the tears are the gap between those two facts.

The rules are the same whether you're leaving for work or for the laundry. Never sneak away: say a quick, cheerful goodbye, even if your baby cries (CDC). Use the same short ritual every time, and come back when you said you would (Swanson, AAP). Tears usually stop within minutes of your leaving (AAP), which is the part you don't see from the car, and the part the person who stays behind can tell you. Sneaking out skips the tears at the door and buys a baby who keeps checking whether you've vanished.

Timing matters. Separations are harder when babies are tired, hungry, or sick (AAP), so the sitter arrives after the nap, not during the pre-nap fuss. If child care starts in this stage, the AAP suggests easing in slowly and taking a little extra time at drop-off (AAP). The guide's version is Practice goodbyes, and the practice is the point: a goodbye your baby has heard fifty times on trips to the kitchen is a goodbye they recognize at the daycare door.