Chorevia

Day 237 of 300 · Week 32

Follow the point, before the point

Last reviewed · 3 min read · 9 sources · Plain-text version

Pointing to ask for things is a 15-month milestone, but the looking has started. Name what your baby stares at, ten things a day, the same name each time: the study behind it.

A mixed-race mother kneeling behind her thirty-three-week-old, who sits on a rug staring at a gray cat on the windowsill, the mother looking at the cat too with her mouth open mid-word.

Your baby stares at things now, hard, for long seconds at a time. That stare is where pointing comes from, and today you answer it as if it were one.

Heart

In 24 babies followed monthly from 9 to 15 months, time spent sharing attention with their mothers, and mothers' talk about what the baby was already looking at, predicted the earliest gestures and words (Carpenter et al., 1998). In a study of 10 toddlers, many things children first pointed at later became words (Iverson & Goldin-Meadow, 2005). Both studies show links, not cause, and both are small. The practical reading is still worth having: talk about what the baby is already looking at, rather than steering them to what you want to show.

Head

Pointing to ask for things is a 15-month milestone (CDC), and waving bye-bye is a 12-month one (CDC), so a seven-month-old isn't there yet and isn't supposed to be. What they have is the look, and one gesture already: by 9 months, most babies lift their arms to be picked up (CDC). CDC's advice for this age is to describe what your baby sees (CDC); the AAP adds consistent names, "cat" today and not "kitty" tomorrow, and reminds you that a "word," to a baby, is any sound used the same way each time (AAP).

Body

The move is three beats. Look where they look. Name it, plainly. Add one more sentence, then pause for their turn (AAP). The pause is the hard part, because the baby's reply is a syllable or a stare, and it comes slowly. Answering those syllables right away is what reshaped the babble of 9.5-month-olds in the lab (Goldstein & Schwade, 2008), so the stare and the sound get the same treatment: you answer both.

Try today

  1. The baby in a high chair gazing up at a ceiling fan while the mother, seated beside the tray, points up at it and holds up three fingers on her other hand, afternoon light through the window.

    Name what they see

    Time: All day, ten times · Follow the point in the guide

    1. Through the day, catch ten stares: the ceiling fan, the cat, the spoon, the bus going by.

    2. Look where they look, and name it once, plainly: "Fan."

    3. Add one sentence, "The fan goes round," then stop and wait for their turn (Carpenter et al., 1998).

    4. Use the same name tomorrow; "fan" stays "fan" (AAP).

    5. Count to ten on your fingers, then stop counting but not naming.

    Make it work:

    Their stare picks the subject. If you name the fan and they're looking at the cat, name the cat.

Watch for

  • Normal

    a stare at the fan that lasts a full minute, and no sound at all while it does.

    Bring it up with your pediatrician

    if by 9 months your baby doesn't babble lots of different sounds (CDC).

  • Normal

    "mamamama" that isn't aimed at you yet; it's a sound, and calling a parent by name is a 12-month milestone (CDC; CDC).

    Bring it up

    if your baby has lost skills they used to have (CDC).

  • Normal

    a baby who looks at your mouth while you name things.

    Don't wait

    if something worries you: ask about developmental screening, or call your state's early intervention program for a free evaluation without a referral (CDC).

For you

The mother at the sink narrating over her shoulder, the father on the kitchen floor with the baby in his lap, both of them looking where the baby looks, at the open dishwasher.

The narration is the curriculum. There is no card set, app, or class in the Carpenter study, only mothers talking about the thing their baby was already looking at (Carpenter et al., 1998), and the one coaching trial that changed anything coached parents to take turns, not to buy something (Ferjan Ramírez et al., 2020). You've been doing this since the narrated diaper changes in the first month. The stare just makes it easier to know what to say.

If you're the partner: your ten stares count the same as hers. Name what the baby sees while she eats sitting down.

Sources

This guide is general education that summarizes published research and guidance from groups like the American Academy of Pediatrics, the CDC, and the WHO. It isn’t medical advice, and every child develops on their own timeline. Your pediatrician knows your child; if something feels wrong, call them. In an emergency, call 911.

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