Chorevia

Day 89 of 120 · Three months

Three months, part one

Last reviewed · 4 min read · 14 sources · Plain-text version

What changed in 90 days: crying down from two hours to about one, smiles, hands that reach, a head held high. A look back, and the day-one photo taken again.

A Black father holds his three-month-old upright against his chest in a doorway in golden evening light, the baby's head steady and turned toward the camera, open hands on his shirt.

Ninety days tomorrow. Before the next guide, a day to look back at what changed.

Heart

The crying. Across 28 diary studies of 8,690 babies, fussing and crying averaged about 2 hours a day for the first 6 weeks, then dropped to about 68 minutes by 10 to 12 weeks (Wolke et al., 2017). And the smiles: by the second or third month, many babies "talk" back with coos and gurgles and smile when they see or hear you (AAP). On day one, you were a voice and a smell. Now you're the face that gets the best smile in the house.

Head

The hands. In month two, hands caught your baby's attention; by month three, fists relax, and many babies open and shut their hands, swipe at objects just out of reach, and may hold and shake a toy (AAP). Hands and eyes started working together around 2 months (AAP). The head: most 2-month-olds can lift it on their tummy, and some start trying to push up (AAP); holding it steady when held is a 4-month milestone, still arriving (CDC).

Body

The size. From 1 to 4 months, babies typically gain 1.5 to 2 pounds and grow 1 to 1.5 inches a month, and head size grows about half an inch a month (AAP). The day-one outfit won't close. If your baby was born early, count from the due date: corrected age is the right measure for milestones during the first 2 years (AAP).

Try today

  1. The mother reclined on the sofa, wide awake, holding the baby chest to chest in the pose from the first day, the baby's face turned to the side and lifted, the father kneeling with a camera.

    The day-one pose, again

    Time: 5 minutes, in good light · Chest-to-chest tummy time in the guide

    1. Find the first photo from the hospital, and set up the same pose: you reclined and wide awake, your baby chest to chest on you, face turned to the side and clear.

    2. Have someone else take it, from the same angle if you can manage it.

    3. Take one more, your choice: the hand grip from the first month, or the baby alone on their back on the play mat with both hands open.

    4. Put the two photos side by side, and keep them somewhere you'll find them in a year.

    Make it work:

    This is a keepsake, not a measurement. If you go skin to skin, keep your baby's face visible and nose and mouth uncovered, with any blanket below the ears (Feldman-Winter & Goldsmith, 2016), and if you get drowsy, the baby goes on their back in their own sleep space.

Watch for

  • Normal

    an hour or so of crying a day, often less by now (Wolke et al., 2017).

    Go to the ER now

    if your baby isn't alert when awake, or seems "out of it" (AAP).

  • Normal

    big smiles for you, a hesitant one for the sitter, a stare for strangers (AAP).

    Tell your pediatrician

    if your baby doesn't smile at you or look at your face (CDC).

  • Normal

    a little spit-up after feeds, flowing out easily.

    Call your pediatrician right away

    if your baby vomits 2 or more times, not just spit-up, and go to the ER now for green vomit or blood (AAP).

  • Normal

    milestones counted from the due date for a baby born early (AAP).

    Don't wait

    if something worries you: you can call your state's early intervention program for a free evaluation without a referral or a diagnosis (CDC).

For you

The mother at a bedroom mirror in evening light in everyday clothes, hair down, looking at herself with a small tired smile, the baby on a play mat on the floor behind her.

The photo of you, three months on. Take it today, as you are, beside the one from the hospital. Then take the same honest look at your body. The bleeding should be long gone; it may last up to 6 weeks, and bleeding that returns after stopping for more than a few days is a call (MedlinePlus). The tiredness may not be gone, and overwhelming tiredness is on the CDC's list of urgent maternal warning signs, so tell a provider, and tell any provider you see that you were pregnant within the last year (CDC).

If you're the partner: take the photo of her, and send it to her with one sentence about something you watched her do this month.

Sources

This guide is general education that summarizes published research and guidance from groups like the American Academy of Pediatrics, the CDC, and the WHO. It isn’t medical advice, and every child develops on their own timeline. Your pediatrician knows your child; if something feels wrong, call them. In an emergency, call 911.

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