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Day 90 of 120 · Three months

Three months

Last reviewed · 4 min read · 18 sources · Plain-text version

A quarter of a year. The 4-month list as 'by about now, some babies', what you've done in 90 days, the hotlines once more, and the guide for months three to four.

A multiracial family of four on a picnic blanket in a park in late-afternoon light, the three-month-old on their back in the middle with open hands as both parents and a toddler lean in talking.

Ninety days. Today is a look at what's arriving, a look at what you did, and the door to the next guide.

Heart

By about now, some babies are starting to smile on their own to get your attention, chuckle when you try to make them laugh, coo and make sounds back when you talk, turn toward your voice, look at their hands with interest, hold a toy you put in their hand, and push up onto forearms on their tummy. That's the CDC's 4-month list (CDC), and it names what at least 75% of babies do by 4 months, not what yours must do today (Zubler et al., 2022). Some of it is here, some is coming, and none of it is a score. What is here is a person: the AAP describes this stretch as the one where personality starts to show (AAP).

Head

What you did. You answered cries, and babies whose cries are answered cry less overall (AAP); prompt responses build the security that later lets a child become confident and independent (AAP). You took turns, and turn-taking is what makes a baby's sounds more speechlike (Bloom et al., 1987). Every one of those back-and-forth moments helped build connections in your baby's brain (Harvard Center on the Developing Child). You did that with no gear and not enough sleep.

Body

What's next. Rolling gets its own section in the 3-month guide. Regular sleep cycles arrive at about 4 months (AAP), and the 4-month checkup brings measurements, an exam, and possibly second doses of vaccines under the AAP schedule (AAP). Keep giving 400 IU of vitamin D a day if your baby gets any breast milk, or less than 32 ounces of formula a day (AAP). And keep the floor: WHO advises interactive floor play several times a day (WHO).

Try today

  1. The family in a loose circle on the blanket, the toddler mid-babble at the baby, who looks up at her with an open mouth, the mother waiting with a smile and the father's hand on the toddler's back.

    The family conversation circle

    Time: 5 minutes, with everyone who's home · Talk-and-pause duets in the guide

    1. Sit in a loose circle on the floor with your baby on their back in the middle, fed and alert.

    2. One person at a time: say something in your parentese voice, higher, slower, more melody, then go quiet and wait for a coo, a kick, or a look (Ferjan Ramírez et al., 2020).

    3. Whoever gets an answer passes the turn; the next person answers the baby first, then adds a line of their own.

    4. Go around twice, siblings included, and stop when your baby looks away or fusses.

    Make it work:

    Taking turns, not the number of voices, is the point: in a small experiment, 3-month-olds made more speechlike sounds when an adult took turns with them (Bloom et al., 1987). Talk, read, and sing to your baby every day (CDC).

Watch for

  • Normal

    a 4-month list with plenty still unchecked; it's written for 4 months (Zubler et al., 2022).

    Ask about developmental screening

    if your baby isn't meeting milestones, has lost skills, or you're concerned (CDC).

  • Normal

    bigger feeds and fewer of them for some babies; formula-fed babies this age take at least 3 to 4 ounces per feed, and your baby's cues matter more than any chart (AAP).

    Call your pediatrician within a day

    if your baby isn't gaining weight or always seems hungry (AAP).

  • Normal

    knowing this baby better than anyone alive.

    Call anyway

    if your baby just doesn't seem right to you. Trust your instincts; three months of practice have sharpened them (Lurie Children's).

For you

The mother alone at the edge of the picnic blanket, shoes off, face tipped up to the sun with her eyes closed, the rest of the family a few feet away and out of focus.

You did a quarter of a year. The hardest crying is behind most families now, the smiles are in front of you, and the person who got you both here is you.

Keep the two numbers in your phone, for a hard week or for someone else's. Call or text the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262), or call or text 988 (CDC). Partners count; anyone can call or text 988 (NIMH).

If you're the partner: tonight, say out loud one thing she did this month that nobody else saw.

Months three to four are in the next guide: 3 months.

Sources

This guide is general education that summarizes published research and guidance from groups like the American Academy of Pediatrics, the CDC, and the WHO. It isn’t medical advice, and every child develops on their own timeline. Your pediatrician knows your child; if something feels wrong, call them. In an emergency, call 911.

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