Chorevia

Day 102 of 120 · Week 14

Hidden things come back

Last reviewed · 3 min read · 10 sources · Plain-text version

Sometime after 4 months, babies start to grasp that a thing out of sight still exists. Peekaboo is the lesson, and it works on tired parents too.

A Black father on a living-room rug in soft morning light peeks over a muslin cloth at his fourteen-week-old lying on their back, the baby's arms flung wide mid-grin.

Cover your face and your baby isn't sure you're still there. Uncover it and you're the best thing that has happened all morning. Today is the game that teaches a big idea.

Heart

Peekaboo looks like nothing and is a lesson in trust. Sometime after 4 months, babies start to grasp that things exist even when they're out of sight, and hiding games help (AAP). For now your baby lives in the moment: gone is gone, back is a small miracle. The pop-out is funny because it's a surprise, and your laughing along is part of how your baby learns what counts as funny (Mireault et al., 2015). Chuckles are a 4-month milestone and full laughs a 6-month one, so the window for the first real laugh is wide (CDC; CDC).

Head

This month's thinking list is short and important. My actions make things happen: a kick shakes the crib, a wave makes the rattle sound (AAP). Hidden things come back (AAP). Neither one needs a toy with batteries. CDC puts peekaboo on its 4-month list of things to do, alongside paying close attention to how your baby reacts to different things (CDC). Watch the reaction more than the game. A long stare, a kick, a chuckle, a look away: each one tells you where your baby is today.

Body

The look-away is the body's way of saying "enough for now." Looking away mid-game is normal; it keeps your baby from getting overwhelmed (AAP). It isn't rejection and it isn't boredom. Wait a beat, and the eyes usually come back on their own. By 4 months most babies look at you, move, or make sounds to get or keep your attention (CDC), so you'll be invited back in.

Try today

  1. The cloth half over the father's face, one eye showing, the baby on the rug staring up with an open mouth and both fists raised, waiting.

    Peekaboo

    Time: 1 to 3 minutes · Peekaboo in the guide

    1. Lay your baby on their back on the floor, fed and alert, and get your face a foot or so above theirs.

    2. Cover your face with your hands or a light cloth. Pause for a breath.

    3. Pop out with a big smile: "Peekaboo!" Laugh if you feel like it; your reaction is part of the game (Mireault et al., 2015).

    4. Repeat while your baby is smiling, and stop when they look away (AAP).

    Make it work:

    Keep the cloth in your hands, never draped over your baby's face, and put it away when you're done; nothing loose goes in the crib (Moon, AAP).

Watch for

  • Normal

    a baby who stares, kicks, and never cracks a smile at peekaboo this week; chuckling when you try to make them laugh is a 4-month milestone, not a 14-week one (CDC).

    Bring it up with your pediatrician

    if your baby doesn't smile on their own by 5 months (AAP).

  • Normal

    turning toward your "peekaboo" before you've uncovered your face; most babies turn their head toward your voice by 4 months (CDC).

    Bring it up

    if your baby doesn't turn toward sounds by 4 months (AAP).

  • Normal

    a little spit-up from laughing on a full stomach.

    Call your pediatrician right away

    if your baby vomits 2 or more times, not just spit-up (AAP).

For you

The mother on the sofa behind them, hair up, mug in both hands, laughing with her head back at something the baby just did, the father blurred in the foreground.

The game works on tired parents too. In a German study of 2,541 mothers and 2,118 fathers, sleep hit its low point in the first 3 months after birth, with mothers sleeping 62 minutes less a night than before pregnancy (Richter et al., 2019). You are coming out of the low point, not past it. A minute of peekaboo on the floor is a minute lying down, and a laugh you didn't plan is still a laugh.

Mood is a different thing from tiredness. If sadness has lasted more than two weeks, go to the doctor; don't wait for a visit (OWH).

If you're the partner: play it with her watching, then hide and let her do the pop-out. Her face is the one your baby looks for first.

Sources

This guide is general education that summarizes published research and guidance from groups like the American Academy of Pediatrics, the CDC, and the WHO. It isn’t medical advice, and every child develops on their own timeline. Your pediatrician knows your child; if something feels wrong, call them. In an emergency, call 911.

Get each day’s note the morning it applies

Add your baby to a free Chorevia household with their date of birth, and every morning for 120 days the day’s note arrives in the app and by email: what’s developing, one thing to try, what to watch for, and a word for you.

Create your household