Chorevia

Day 264 of 300 · Week 36

Mirror, month nine

Last reviewed · 4 min read · 8 sources · Plain-text version

Several facial expressions, happy, sad, angry, surprised, are on the 9-month list. In front of a mirror, name the one you see. The mirror weather report, for the baby and then for you.

An East Asian mother on a hallway floor in soft window light with her thirty-six-week-old on her lap, both facing a full-length mirror, the baby's mouth open in surprise at their own reflection.

The baby in the mirror has gotten interesting. Today is the faces, which are now several, and the first time you say a feeling word out loud and mean it about them.

Heart

By 9 months, most babies show several facial expressions, like happy, sad, angry, and surprised (CDC). Last month those were mostly happy and not-happy; now there's a visible difference between the cross face at the gate and the startled face at the blender. The feelings have arrived before the words for them, which is why the AAP's mirror suggestion for this stage is to name body parts and label emotions as babies begin to recognize themselves (AAP). New fears come with the new faces: fear of the dark, thunder, or the vacuum is common at this stage too (AAP).

Head

Naming feelings out loud is a CDC tip for this age (CDC), and it's the same mechanism as every other word: things have names, said the same way each time (AAP). "Surprised" is a thing, like "dog." The mirror is useful because the baby and the face are in the same place at the same time, and because babies this age like the mirror anyway (AAP). Whether the naming speeds anything up hasn't been tested. It costs nothing and it changes what you notice.

Body

Keep it to what you see. "You look surprised" when the eyebrows go up; "that's a cross face" when the gate shuts. Don't argue with the face or fix it; a baby who's cross at the gate is allowed to be. The three-feeling version of the game is in the guide's Mirror faces, which you may have played last month; today's version names the baby's real weather instead of making faces for them to copy. A sturdy mirror hung at floor height, or you sitting with them in front of the wardrobe door, is the whole setup (AAP).

Try today

  1. The mother and baby close to the mirror, the mother pointing at the baby's reflection and making an exaggerated surprised face, the baby patting the glass with both hands.

    The mirror weather report

    Time: 3 minutes, after a nap when the face is changeable

    1. Sit on the floor with your baby on your lap, both of you facing a mirror, close enough to touch it.

    2. Wait for a real expression and name it as it happens: "Happy! That's a happy face." Point to their reflection, then to your own face doing the same thing (CDC).

    3. Do something small and new, like a gentle "boo" or a hat on your head, and name what follows: "Surprised!" or "Not sure."

    4. End by naming the tired one, if it comes, and stop there: "Tired face. Time to go."

    Make it work:

    Use the same four or five words all week, the same way each time (AAP). "Grumpy" today and "cranky" tomorrow is two names for one thing.

Watch for

  • Normal

    a baby who leans in and kisses the mirror, then looks behind it.

    Talk with your pediatrician

    if your baby's eyes consistently turn in or out (AAP).

  • Normal

    only two or three faces you can tell apart so far; several is a 9-month skill and your baby is eight months (CDC).

    Bring it up

    if your baby seems not to see or hear well (AAP).

  • Normal

    a blank, far-off face for a few seconds before a nap.

    Go to the ER now

    if your baby is hard to wake, isn't alert when awake, or seems confused (AAP).

For you

The mother alone at a bathroom mirror in the evening, hair down, looking at herself steadily with a neutral tired face, a toothbrush in one hand.

Name your own weather. Tonight, at the bathroom mirror, say the real word for the day, out loud: tired, fine, flat, fed up, happy. One word, said the same way you'd say it about the baby, without arguing with it. It's the same skill, and most of us are worse at it for ourselves than for them. The report matters when it stops changing. Sadness, anxiety, or emptiness that lasts more than two weeks is the sign to go to your own doctor, without waiting for a visit that isn't scheduled (Office on Women's Health), and thoughts about harming yourself or your baby are an urgent sign, today (CDC).

If you're the partner: ask for her one word tonight, and give yours. Then don't fix either of them.

Sources

This guide is general education that summarizes published research and guidance from groups like the American Academy of Pediatrics, the CDC, and the WHO. It isn’t medical advice, and every child develops on their own timeline. Your pediatrician knows your child; if something feels wrong, call them. In an emergency, call 911.

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